Down to Run-Trail 10k-April 2019

Of course since I just completed my first run/walk 5k since trimalleolar ankle surgery, I should be able to do a 10k just 2 weeks later, right?? I know, I know, even I hear myself sounding all KINDS of crazy!

Heres the deal though... I was on a half marathon a month mission when I broke my ankle, meaning, I had races that were months ahead that were already scheduled and paid for. I was able to transfer or refund the other races, but I held on to the Down to Run race in April as a 'goal' to keep myself on schedule with physical therapy. The race director let me downgrade to either a 5k or 10k. But of course since I completed the 5k distance with Never Quit, I wanted to challenge myself for the 10k distance, even if I was to walk it. In training, I had already made it to the 4.5 mile mark run/walking, so everything sounded fine in my head. Again, as with every other step of this recovery process, my body just felt like it was ready.

The ankle was getting stronger, but the bend was still not the same as the other ankle. The movements on uneven surfaces was getting stronger, but fear was still there on twisting the ankle or falling. With this race being a trail race, I knew it was something I had to do to help get over this anxiety. My running at this stage is very uneven. I feel like I look completely lopsided, as my push off and landing on my right side is so uneven with my left. My calf is still way smaller and my overall muscle mass is not nearly where it usually is.

The race took place at Jonathan Dickinson State Park in Jupiter Florida, so I made a weekend out of it and stayed with a friend. She even got me on a bike for the first time since surgery! We visited the Loggerhead Marinelife Center where they rehabilitate turtles. I met Valentina, a turtle with an amputated flipper, and she showed me that she was still able to continue to swim around like other turtles even if she looked/felt a little different.

It was a hot day in Southern Florida and I was hoping for shade with this being a park, but I quickly learned shade did not exist.

Once again, I wore a sign on my back. I got a good luck from other runners as I lined up in the back. I knew this one was going to be 'turtle' slow. The trail was flat with lots of sand, divots, grass patches, very narrow single track. Most of the run I was alone until people started heading back to the finish.

There were little pink flowers along the entire course, which each one I pictured as my pink angels who I run for, cheering me on along the way, telling me to keep going. We have a mission to complete! I wasnt done with my breast cancer mission and Im not letting a little setback tell me to quit! I took it nice and slow the entire way; more like a speedwalkers jog. I was surprised i ran as much as I did on the uneven surface.

I had an older guy secretly be my hare in front of me for the first four miles and then I was finally able to pass him. He told me he had a 14inch rod in his leg after I told him about my surgery! He quickly followed it with, 'but we are still doing it and BLESSED to still be doing it!'

Yes Sir! Yes Sir we are!

This state park race has all kinds of challenge distances! ...all the way up to 100 and cute awards for each one!
The 'medal' for this 10k was a pair of sunglasses! How cool is that?!
No after party with beer, being a state park and all, but lots of people were partaking in their festivities in the campground! Me, well, I celebrated on a Pontiki boat and a Prince coverband concert! 10k Done....Half Marathon coming right up!!

Never Quit....Never-April 2019

While healing from surgery, my entire focus was all on training for the Donna Marathon using a hand cycle. Once marathon day passed in February, I knew it would be time to focus on when I could run again. I soon realized physical therapy would hopefully be wrapping up by my Birthday in April and Never Quit 5k was that same week. I instantly had my next goal.

Never Quit is a 5k and 10k held right on the sands of Jacksonville Beach. Its motto instantly was a calling as I was dealing with this broken ankle. Not to mention, the timing of it all panned out perfectly to keep me on track to reach half marathon distance by July! They give an option of a commemorative necklace instead of a medal, which I wore just about every day as inspiration.

There was still great concern about the lack of bend in my ankle by the therapist and doctor, but I begged the therapists to put me on the antigravity running machine at month four of recovery. I just  felt like the motion of running would help loosen my ankle.  I ran 2 days a week on that machine and still had a regular physical therapy session in between.

Five weeks later I met my goal of running outside on my birthday!! One of the therapist met me to run on real ground. It was so surreal! I can not describe the amount of anxiety but also excitement that overwhelmed my body. My brain was literally telling me, 'you forgot how to run.' My body was telling me, 'you miss this so much, just do it.'



Not only was it my birthday, but it was the day I took back control of this ankle situation. I laced up my sneakers that I fell and broke my ankle in! These shoes will not keep me down! I wore arch supports as my ankle was still tight and doesn't bend as loosely as the other. Being a toe runner, it helps keep me supported.

The first couple of steps felt awkward. Actually, Im not going to lie, the entire mile felt awkward, as sidewalks are not the same as a treadmill. I had to relearn the stability of running on uneven surfaces. We took it super slow for a mile and had a lot of walk breaks, but I was so surprised at how easy it was!

I had already walked a 5k for the Donna Marathon, and now I am back outside running, so of course I wanted to complete the Never Quit 5k the same week! Everyone thought I was crazy, but I just felt like my body could handle it.

Super nervous at the starting line and unsure how beach running was going to go, I just took it super slow and shuffled my way along. The feeling of being surrounded by racers (mainly them passing me) just put a huge smile on my face! I am racing again! It was a beautiful day and the sand was nice and hard. I kept it slow and just kept going.

I unintentionally ran the first mile nonstop! It just felt good. I told myself I would walk the last 2 miles if I needed. But I still felt good, so I did the run/walk by feel, no time.  My leg muscles ended up being more sore than my ankle! I had no pain at all! The course even ended up being a little long at 3.5 miles, then I had walked to/from the start/finish line! It felt amazing getting back out there again....and I actually passed people!

I wore a sign on my back, '5 months post ankle surgery' for motivation and support from my fellow runners, as I knew I was participating and finishing alone. But I also wanted to show others whatever you put your mind to, you can accomplish, as long as you 'Never Quit.' Right as I completed running my first nonstop mile since surgery, a lady talked to me about how her runner friend is struggling with her own ankle surgery recovery, not knowing if she will run again. And of course the doctors telling her, just like they told me, maybe you should hang up those shoes because they dont know either. She was so excited to take a picture of me to show her, yes, it can be done! Some doctors just dont understand the passion and commitment that runners have. You cant tell them they cant do something that burns inside them. You feel it. Its there. Use that energy to drive you through therapy and training. You want it, go for it! No one can tell you different. Only you understand what your body is communicating to you. Listen to it.

I crossed that finish line just amazed that I had done it! And all those people told me they thought I shouldn't! I put on my Finishers Necklace, took off my shoes, and jumped into the ocean! It was a great day!

DONNA Marathon Weekend-2019

Ahhh...DONNA Marathon weekend has arrived! I am so blessed that I still get to be part of the festivities! When I fell on that snowy trail in Telluride CO, Nov 4, the first thought in my head wasn't 'Oh my God, I cant run anymore! I cant run DONNA!' The first thought was, 'HOW am I going to run DONNA?!' I didn't know how. Heck, I didn't even know how I was going to get to the airport, to get home, and then to go upstairs to my apartment and live alone! But every single person put in my path helped me figure it all out. Together we were going to Find A Way!

You see, right away I had lot of friends step up and say they would push me in a wheelchair on race day. And yea, at first I was okay with that. But then I realized, that's not me. That's not my competitive spirit. That's not me putting all my effort into this race that I have dedicated my life to for the past 7 years, 8 months of traveling and racing the states! I would push MYSELF in a wheelchair!

I looked up racing wheelchairs. My jaw hit the floor. Thousands of dollars to buy one, and not a single place to rent! My idea was shattered. Then I received that message. Amanda from the DONNA Foundation told me she reached out to Brooks Adaptive Sports and said they will provide me a chair and train me! For Free. WHAT?!

You see, the Brooks Adaptive Sports and Recreation program is a donation and sponsor based program where they help those with any physical disability to continue to live an active lifestyle! Besides all the different kinds of sports and events they host, they also have a cycling program where they meet once a week at the Baldwin Trail and then they race DONNA! To top that off, they come pick you up on a bus and transport you and your chair!

Literally my heart was so happy! How did I get so lucky to have this perfectly lined up? Because it was already the end of December, the Brooks ladies provided me a sports wheelchair to take home and cross train on my own to get my upper body built (OMG that chair is so hard!) and then they would bring the hand cycle trike to the Baldwin Trail every week for me to ride and that would be the one I raced for DONNA (SO much easier!)

First Coast News aired my story of 'Why I Run DONNA' but focusing on breaking my ankle and still never giving up! See the broadcast HERE.

Follow my journey of recovery and training HERE. (warning, its Raw and unedited!)

FRIDAY FEB 8-
DONNA SOCIAL SHAKEOUT
I've never been to the DONNA 'Social Shakeout' because I've always wanted to save my energy for Marathon day. A 'shakeout' is a casual jog to get your muscles moving and try to 'shakeout' the nerves right before race day. Not running this year, I thought it would help to go socialize with the runners and see how I am going to feel not running on marathon day and seeing everyone else run. I'm glad I went, but damn, why did I go?

Going into Friday, I knew I wanted to rest my foot as much as possible, but knew I had a lot of getting around to do, so I decided to pull out the knee scooter. I went to watch a gorgeous sunrise and then met with everyone at Southern Grounds Cafe. I had an awesome breakfast and coffee drink and chatted with a lot of people. It was a gorgeous morning so we sat outside for a while.

As I was leaving on my knee scooter, the wheel caught a rock and flipped me over, falling on the side of my new titanium ankle. THANK GOD the ankle was solid and not even a ding! But standing up I knew right away my big toe was not good. I could not walk on it. Instant dejavu. I cried out, 'Why?! I'm supposed to walk my first 5k tomorrow!!"

A wonderful group of people helped me up and back to the cafe to ice it. One of them was an actual PT Assistant and messed around with my foot making sure it wasn't broken. It was a stressful next 24 hours not knowing exactly what was wrong. No one really thought it was broken, but it was definitely banged up good. After I finally left, I called my PT girl and she didn't think it was broken either but told me repeatedly not to walk the 5k. I went home, took an Epsom salt bath, iced it, and tried to rest a bit before I had to go to the Expo.....on the knee scooter.


DONNA EXPO
The Expo was at the what everyone knows as 'the old Kmart' in Atlantic Beach. I thought it was perfect. Parking wasn't an issue and it was nice and spacious inside for all the vendors. There were a ton of photo opps and giveaways! I even got to be Queen Neptune, the symbol of strength of this years race!

I went to the Expo alone, but I felt the love from everyone! Everyone wanted to know my story on why I was on the knee scooter, so of course I had to tell them over and over. Some people even said jokingly, 'Oh you're not running?' And I surprised them by saying, 'Yes, I am walking tomorrow and hand cycling Sunday!' A few people even said they knew me from the news story! I also got to meet my 'competition,' the predicted winner of the marathon. My goal was to finish the marathon on the hand cycle at the same time at the Marathon runner! Just think how cool that would be!

Being registered for the Booby Trap Challenge and Fundraiser Experience, I got a shirt for the 5k and the marathon as well as a cup! Doing some shopping, I found someone selling Nail Stickers and got myself a manicure!

SAWGRASS VIP RECEPTION
After the Expo, I iced my toe some more, and then it was time for the VIP Reception at the Sawgrass Marriott. Super happy that Constance was going with me, as I needed someone to understand what I was going through and not BS any of it. I still used the knee scooter but was able to walk around some as well. It was such a gorgeous night out on the water and with the fire pits. It was good to kick back and relax.

I went to bed not knowing what will happen for the 5k in the morning. Everyone was telling me not to worry about doing the 5k at all and focus on the marathon. And I knew they were all right. But I couldn't help but want the 5k more than the marathon. Walking is getting me that much closer to running. Hand cycling isn't. Yea it will be a cool experience to still participate in the marathon on the hand cycle and not have to sit this one out, but I want to be back to ME. Me, the Runner. I even woke up feeling so good, realizing that 5k day was exactly 3 months from surgery. Which of course makes it all have meaning, and making me feel that much more that I can take on three miles! Its meant to be! It is time! I can do this! And then BAM! I fell off the knee scooter and hurt my toe! I went to bed with the back up plan of using the scooter the entire way. I needed to still participate in one way or another. But I really want to walk. I kept asking people if they believed in miracles. Maybe Ill wake up and be able to run!

SATURDAY FEB 9-
DONNA 5K
I woke up Saturday, the first day of the Booby Trap Challenge, the 5k, and instantly stepping out of bed, knew I could not walk. My toe was soooore. So disappointed, but still determined, I thought, 'That's it, Ill just knee scoot the whole thing. I'm still doing it!' But getting ready, walking around the house, it loosened up and I started thinking, 'well, maybe...' By the time we drove to the Start, I decided I'm going to walk as much as my toe/ankle would allow me and have the knee scooter waiting just in case. Leeann had a golf cart, so she would bring it to me if I needed it.

It was a very brisk and windy morning. We waited inside the Expo building for a little while since the parking was a piece of cake with no traffic. Then we waited in the Runners Village. Both places I managed to just sit and rest to the foot, preparing to tackle my furthest distance walking. It was a pretty long wait and I was nervous. Finally the 110 Ultra runners took off, and then finally so did we.

I wanted to wait to be last to start, but Julie had us go about mid distance back. People of course were running all passed us, but it was kind of cool because I wore a sign on my back saying 'no broken ankle can stop me.' So many people said things like they have been there before, and 'good job, and  'keep it up.' It was cool to have that pep talk in the beginning. We were going kinda fast at first, but instantly needed to slow down. Julie was the best in making sure people stayed away from bumping into me, and watched the ground to make sure I didn't loose my balance in any divot, rock, or curb.

At about half a mile in Roger and Norma started to pass me. Of course I called out to them and then they walked the rest of the way with us! It was absolutely perfect! I couldn't have asked for better company. Roger and Norma, a sweet and loving elderly couple, used to be my neighbors, who I instantly thought of as family. They took care of me and my pup all the time. Norma's brother also had breast cancer and now she is on a mission to raise awareness for male breast cancer. She is the cutest.

Before we even reached a mile, I was already the last person. Then we realized they had a police car following us the entire course! I just laughed. I didn't think they had that for this race, as there is no time limit and all the Donna people knew I may take 2 hours to finish. There were also cops on every single block at the intersections! Oh man, so many people waiting on me! I tried to just laugh it off and ignore it, but it actually helped me stay in the moment and remember that this IS a race! It is not just a casual walk. So push yourself, but mindfully push yourself. So that is what I did.

The first mile went by at 25 minutes....that was already my fastest mile, so I was okay with that even though I thought we went faster. Then I realized all the runners were already coming back. Oh man, this is embarrassing. Every single runner can see who is last. But instantly it changed as people were still motivating me by calling out 'keep going, you got this!' A couple friends gave a hug as they passed, and a complete strange came and gave high fives! It was pretty awesome. We got to mile 2 and it was 25 minutes again! WHAT?! That's awesome, I just did 2miles at the same PR time!

Roger is not a big distance walker and he usually stops and lets Norma continue on. I kept checking on him, and it was cool he was actually making it. So it was a little competition of who will make it the total 3 miles? It was super windy and cold with the head wind coming back, but i still had a smile on my face and laughing about the entire situation with the cop still on my tail! My toe was doing okay, as I was using more of the outside of my foot. My ankle was doing superb. Every now and again I had to just pause and raise the leg off the ground for a few seconds, but I never had to fully stop. The last mile was going to be the one in question, but it was good! The arch of my foot started getting really tired the last half mile and I really didn't want it to cramp up, so we slowed a little. But I guess we didn't slow that much, because the last mile was 26 minutes!

Coming into the final stretch, they had just started the Fun Mile, mainly little kids, but there were adults too. They were coming out and taking up the entire road, and we were weaving through going into the Finish so Julie made sure to be my body guard, so that they didn't bump me off the road! Then the winner of the Final Mile was coming in as I was finishing the 5k. How can you not laugh at that? I crossed the line almost wanting to cry, but really I just wanted to smile! I DID IT! And I did it so much faster than I thought! Amanda awarded me with my 5k medal and Donna handed me a Final Finisher plague! I actually won in something! It is my most prized possession ever!!! =)

Julie took me straight back to the Expo and we got a massage from Cura. It was absolutely perfect and exactly what I needed. The ladies there remembered my story from the day before at the Expo and was excited to hear how it went! She worked on my foot/ankle/leg and I am so thankful Julie had that idea! We celebrated afterwards with drinks and brunch and then I needed to rest/ice up and prepare for the VIPinks Happy Hour meetup and the Mayo Clinic Top Fundraiser Dinner.

VIPinks Happy Hour Meetup
VIPinks are basically the DONNA Ambassadors throughout the country and we share ideas to improve and promote The DONNA on a private Facebook page. They held a cocktail hour at Surfer the Bar which was right next to my house so I decided to make an appearance on the way to the DONNA Mayo Clinic Top Fundraiser dinner. Constance came with and it was a nice continuation of my 5k celebration with pink drinks and goodies!

DONNA Mayo Clinic Top Fundraiser Dinner
Every year I am invited to the Mayo Clinic dinner but I have only gone one time previously as I am usually more focused on PRing the full marathon the next morning, thus no wining and dining, and in bed before 8p! I decided this was a perfect opportunity to embrace all the events this year and I probably needed to hear some words of motivation from some great people anyways. A DONNA Foundation recipient spoke and really hit home with my ankle. Not that what I have been going through is nearly as rough as having breast cancer, but amazingly it has been much more rough than I ever imagined, especially doing it alone. The simple words of 'you have to be exposed to be blessed' is so very true. Every single thing I have done since my fall I have looked at in a different light. Every struggle as I recovered and now every thing I relearn to do with my 'bionic' ankle, its all different. Simple acts have now become huge triumphs as I conquer them one by one. None of it I can ever take for granted again.

Dinner was of course great, and I'm so happy Constance decided to be my guest! It was such a huge whirlwind of a day! Just not enough time for each of the events to soak in before moving on to the next. Looking back, we didn't even take pictures at dinner! I really wish they would move this Mayo Clinic Dinner to Thursday.


SUN FEB 10
DONNA MARATHON
How do you fully reap the benefits of participating in The DONNA??...Register as a Fundraiser Experience participant! Pledge to raise X amount of donations and the rewards are endless!

FUNDRAISER EXPERIENCE PARTICIPATE AMENITIES-
-VIP Parking at the Start! (NO Shuttle!)
-VIP area at Southern Grounds pre-race to relax (still waiting for them to make a VIP gear check)
-VIP Finish Area with Ruth Chris food and drink!-Can we say steak and shrimp and mimosa?!
-VIP Finish Line Viewing-Couches and swing to relax and watch the runners and a private clean bathroom trailer

This year with the new course there was a shuttle system to Start. Because I had VIP Parking at Start, I didnt have to wake up extra early for all that nonsense! I picked up a fellow VIPink who was staying at a hotel near me and we made our way, still probably a little too early, but I like to take my time on marathon day instead of wasting energy being rushed.

Our VIP experience also got us a separate area to relax pre-race at the Southern Grounds coffee shop. This was nice, but I felt it was a little too far away from any of the Runners Village, DJ music, other vendors, and excitement. As well as gear check. I've always said VIP should have their own Gear Check. Thankfully, Brooks had their own gear check this year. We socialized for a bit, then said our Good Lucks and headed our own ways. I had to get my hand cycle ready!

I was so excited yet so nervous as I met up with the other Brooks participates. Its like they all knew what they were in for, and I had no idea! I wasnt too worried about finishing, I had a game plan of just taking it easy and going nice and slow. As I was more worried about starting so early before the runners, and being so much faster than the runners, that there wouldnt be enough spectators out yet. And THAT is what makes The DONNA. 92 half marathons I have run all over the country and not a single race even comes close to the amount of neighborhood support that this race has! Not only do they just line the street, but they go all out on the decorations....banners that cross over the street, balloons that go for blocks, (this year endless pink palm trees and flamingos!), music blaring on their speakers or even musicians in their drive ways, and they set up their own support tables of runner fuel like bananas, oranges, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cupcakes, bacon, donuts, Popsicles, you name it! As well as the party tables of mimosas, beer, bloody marys. It really is one big party!

I got to my cycle and they introduced me to my 'guide.' I had no idea I was going to have a 'guide.' I didnt know what to think, except I had someone to express all my nerves and excitement to!...oh and take my picture!  Basically Tyler would be on a regular bike and stay with me the entire course, I guess to make sure I dont have any issues along the way. As we lined up to Start (extra early), I told him my game plan of taking it nice and slow, and I was still worried about my ankle swelling and blood clots, so we might stop and stretch. He said that was a good idea and he had to pee anyways! I said I did too (but maybe it was the nerves!)

The countdown was quick and we were suddenly covered in an endless sea of pink confetti flying in the air! They had put me in the back, but I realized quickly I wanted to go faster and space out from the other cyclists. Within half a mile, I was probably one of the first few and I knew it. It felt good and I suddenly was thinking 'Wow, what if I could win one of the awards on this thing?' The first aid station was my fellow colleagues (we volunteer a station every year to collect a grant) but I flew right through there because I already felt in the zone. We were in a new part of the course which made things very interesting. And then some parts was like we were doing the previous years course backwards. I loved not knowing where I was going next. I quickly learned, to my surprise lots of spectators were already out. The cyclists spaced out so much, that I was basically alone the entire time until about M10 where I passed a cyclist, and then around M20 when we had the out and back.

I felt like every single one of the spectators cheered for me more than if I was just running. Real shout outs like "looking strong!" "Go get em!" "Wow, you are flying!" Shocked looks on their faces made me smile. Thats right, Im a powerful beautiful girl on a hand cycle kicking ass! No broken ankle is stopping me!

I felt like I was flying. I was finally competing. 3 months of no racing and my competitive spirit had arrived, ready to win! Tyler even asked me if I still wanted to stop and use the restroom and I said, no way I was stopping now, i was in the zone! I had no idea how much Tyler would actually make my race! It definitely would not have been the same without him. He didnt talk much, and mostly he stayed behind me, so I didnt see him much, but I felt him. I felt him like he was my guardian angel. When he saw me struggle, he would tell me 'you got this!' When he saw I was in the zone, he would yell out 'I can barely keep up!' Which of course just made me want to go faster for longer. Or when we had the strong head winds and I felt like I was rolling backwards, he turned on "Eye of the Tiger" on his speaker to keep me pumped.

And he was definitely a life saver when it came to the aid stations! I carried my own water bottles but knew it was estimated Id finish under 3 hours, so I didnt carry any extra fuel. I tried to grab a few gatorades, but most of the volunteers were caught off guard when I would speed by. Or  they didnt hear me or didnt realize I wanted a cup soon enough, and there was no way was I slowing down! Its too hard to get going again! Now, we did end up stopping for one.....the bacon and mimosa station! Now that was worth the slow down! Every time I tried to reach for something at a station and missed, Tyler would turn around and get off his bike and get it and cycle it to me. It was perfect team work! He even got me TWO cups of bacon! and a gianormous donut that we had to split!

Tyler absolutley made my race day! Nothing about it would have been the same without him. Just his presence made my anxiety of my first hand cycle race disappear! He made me smile. He made me stronger. He pushed me in ways he probably doesnt even know. To have the support of someone by my side was the absolute best feeling. Every single 91 half marathons and 9 marathons i have done , I have felt a guardian angel with me in one form or another...mostly butterfiles or heart shapes that remind me of ones passed....this time my guardian angle was Tyler!

The second half of the course was eerily quiet, the clouds and wind had rolled in, there were barely any spectators and it was a long straightaway. This was the most challenging part of the entire race, but still was one I played and laughed with. Then we got to the turn around point about M20, where they had to literally lift up my chair and turn me around because the street was so narrow. At that point, runners were finally starting to get close....well, they were heading out and we were heading in. It was really cool because a ton of the runners kept giving me thumbs up and 'good jobs.' Amazingly I was not missing running!

I was too happy to be! I definitely never smiled that much before during a marathon! I was so in the zone of happiness, I even almost missed seeing Constance videoing me at a couple of places! I crossed the finish line and literally fell out of my handcycle chair, my legs numb, arms jello, my body shaking, a huge smile on my face saying, "that was the FUNNEST marathon Ever!" We just sat there at the Finish Line amazed that that just happened. Then I found out I was the first hand cycle female to finish! And third overall!

With the VIP Fundraiser Experience, we got to celebrate at the Ruth Chris tent right at the Finish Line with steak, shrimp, mimosas, a swing, couches, and private bathroom! It was so early still and so many racers to watch coming in! We sat there for the longest time and everything from the entire weekend just soaked in. I did it! I did it all!

What was extra cool about this years race moving to the beach community was that a lot of the restaurants and shops gave away free goodiess (candle, bracelet, car coaster) as well as happy hour discount prices for food and drinks which me and another ViPink got to partake!

OVERALL
The entire weekend was so jammed packed of events, there was no moment to feel down on myself over a broken ankle and not being able to run! I am so blessed that together we were able to come up with a plan so I could still participate! It ended up being an experience of a lifetime! Thank you to everyone that has supported me along this crazy journey! I have a whole new love and appreciation of hand cyclists! It was so much fun, I literally said that evening, lets do it again! And then my shoulders started hurting so bad, I had to put lidocaine on that night! lol

Please show your support with a donation to The Donna Foundation HERE 

Broken But Not Defeated-Chapter 4-Believe

CHAPTER ONE-HEAL

CHAPTER TWO-STRENGTH

CHAPTER THREE-COURAGE

THE TIMELINE

Nov 4- trimalleolar fracture (3 broken bones in ankle)- temporary cast
Nov 6- fly home
Nov 7- see Dr C orthopedic surgeon -redid temporary cast
Nov 9- surgery- 1plate with 8pins on fibula, 2 screws into tibia -new temporary cast
Nov 14-stopped taking pain meds
Nov 19- post op followup-new walking boot-but no walking, can take off to bathe only, still elevate and rest
Dec 17-xrays/bones healed, new stirrup brace and can walk/move as much as i can until pain, physical therapy can start, long distance walking in boot, short walking in brace
Dec 19-first PT
Dec 21-meet with Brooks to test race wheelchairs for The DONNA
Dec 22- 2nd PT
Dec 23- 2.4 miles in sports wheelchair/cross training
Dec 25- 4 miles in sports wheelchair/cross training
Dec 26-3rd PT
Dec 27-4th PT-walking with one crutch with Big Bertha boot
Dec 28-5th PT
Dec 29-11.5 miles hand cycle
Dec 31-6th PT
Jan 2-7th PT walking with two crutches with Lil Bertha brace
Jan 3-18.2 miles hand cycle
Jan 4-8th PT
Jan 5-4 miles in sports wheelchair/walking with one crutch and Lil Bertha brace
Jan 7-9th PT
Jan 8-walking short distances with no crutch no brace
Jan 9-10th PT
Jan 10-21.2 miles hand cycle
Jan 11-11th PT, walking with Lil Bertha brace and no crutch, cane for long distance
Jan 12-walked 1 mile with cane
Jan 14-12th PT, xrays-no brace unless on unsteady ground
Jan 16-13th PT
Jan 17-18.7 miles hand cycle
Jan 18-14th PT
Jan 19-5 miles sports chair
Jan 21-15th PT
Jan 23-16th PT-driving
Jan 24-walked 1 mile without assistance/no more cane
Jan 25-17th PT
Jan 28-18th PT
Jan 30-19th PT
Jan 31-18miles handcycle
Feb 1-20th PT
Feb 4-21st PT
Feb 6-22nd PT
Feb 7-23rd PT
Feb 9-10 DONNA Marathon weekend
Feb 11-all clear from Doctor



JAN 14-RECOVERY DAY 66-THE FOOT HAS GOT TO BEND
What a day! I took the day off for the scheduled doctor follow up since it is across town, so i also decided to squeeze in PT. And then an adaptive yoga class was offered by Brooks, so i decided to squeeze that in too. Then we ran errands and had dinner. I may, just may, have pushed it (probably because it was the day after I did two 1 miles back to back)

I woke up with my foot still a little tender. The physical therapist wasnt very impressed with my two back to back days of walking a mile, more worried about causing additional injuries. But it happened and it wasnt that bad. All the exercises have been pretty good and then she gives me a new one that I can barely do and it hurts. Its literally just stepping off a ledge that is about 2 inches off the ground. Yep, that is how little my foot is bending. I have been able to do steps with the cane and moving my body, but the focus of this exercise is to use normal movement. It is so shocking how much my foot is just stuck in this position.

Yoga was next and it was amazing to see how off balanced my body is comparing one side to the other. All the movements were on the ground and it was a pretty short class, but it was just enough to get some movements in I needed. It also put a lot of things into perspective. The Brooks Adaptive Sports and Recreation program is a free sports program for people of all kinds of physical impairment, but mostly there are people will serious lifetime disabilities. It was a new thing for me to see these volunteers and therapists move the yogis that are in a wheelchair onto tables and help move their bodies into the different positions.

At the beginning of the class the teacher asked us to go around and tell our New Years Resolutions, and one man in a wheelchair with a pretty serious condition and could barely talk, said his was to walk. I was so taken aback, tears instantly came and they just didnt stop the entire class. Here I am upset that I cant run. All he wants to do is walk again. I should be appreciative to be able to walk what I can even if I never run again. But it was more than just that. I think I was so moved because it was so unexpected to hear him say walk. It is as if he just doesnt care what people or doctors say and he still believes and has hope. It is something that we all should never lose sight of. Belief. All the therapists keep telling me that this foot as got to move, and it worries me. I dont know what else I can do. I am doing the exercises, I am doing more activities and I am walking. It just doesnt move. But I can not let that worry creep in. I need to believe that it will move. Keep working on it and have faith it will come.

Next was the doctors appointment with xrays to make sure everything is still okay. The xrays looked fine but the doctor then himself says the foot has got to bend. I know! But what do I do?!?!?! I am so concerned that I will run out of time with physical therapy and my foot will not be doing what it needs to be doing and I wont be running. I keep asking him about the timeline of therapy and when should i be running and he keeps pulling me back. 'If you cant get the foot to bend and walk, then you cant run.'

There is no timeline for everyone. Everyone is different. Healing is different for everyone. Recovery is different for everyone. And that has been the hardest part of all of this. Just tell me what to do and when to make me be ME again! He showed me some modifications to some exercises to make them more intense because I dont feel anything sometimes. He showed me where to feel my muscle activate in my leg when i pull my toes back. If that muscle doesnt move, then you are not trying hard enough to pull the toes back. Have I not been doing any of this hard enough this whole time? Is this my fault?

I told him he can not get rid of me until I run again. Yet, the physical therapy prescription says 3x a week until plateau. If I plateau, there is nothing more they can do. I feel a serious time crunch, even though they will not give a date. This bend needs to happen and nothing can progress until it does. I can not have worry creep in and take over. I need to stay focused and believe that these stretches are working and one day it will bend. Just like the man in the wheelchair, I will not give up hope.


WORKOUT-PT, adaptive yoga
HEALING-ice, wintergreen and coconut oil


JAN 15-RECOVERY DAY 67-IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS HARD?
If you progress to walk, you think you will never go back to not. If you leave the crutches, you think heck no, i will never use those torture devices again. But today I had to put my ego aside. I woke up to my foot STILL hurting. And swollen. I iced several times, I massaged, I used essential oils, I rested (well, I didnt leave the house, laid down or sat for work). I took meds. Nothing seemed to be working. The pain was there even just sitting, yet alone putting weight on it. I knew it was not right. Its not supposed to be like this. Everyone keeps saying, dont push it or you will set yourself back or cause another injury. Then all the therapists and doctors say make sure to keep stretching it, it HAS to move. If Im in this much pain because of the swelling, how can I move it?. Even not putting weight on it and trying to stretch it, it hurts. So I decided I needed a rest day. I put myself on crutches, barely putting weight on it, and barely stretching it. I feel it needs to be better for physical therapy tomorrow, otherwise thats just a waste of a session.

WORKOUT-rest
HEALING-Calcium, B12, vitamin D, wintergreen/coconut oil massage, frankincense massage, ice pack


JAN 16 RECOVERY DAY 68-PERSPECTIVE 
Its been a rough couple of past days with the swelling and pain. I knew my recovery was going way too easy, quick, and painfree. I guess i had a moment on panic with the pain because really it was the first time and i wasnt sure what was happening. But after talking with the physical therapist she put everything into perspective. Yes i can walk, but no i cant. I have to find the balance of what is good and what is too much, still trying to have no pain during or after. And even if i dont set out to go walk a mile, the small steps add up all day long and i can still be doing too much. My foot just got a hard workout. Like going to the gym and doing too many bicep curls, your arms are useless for two days. Thats what happened to my foot, but its harder because it then limits my walking. I still need to rely on the assistance devices. She also did some great joint manipulation and got my bones to bend more, feeling hopeful that it will be fine, my foot is just taking a little longer.

So i came home and embraced the cane and decorated it. I got the cane Friday and said i wasnt going to do that because i felt i wouldnt have it but a week, but now I know, its here to help me take my next step into normal walking without a limp then eventually running.


WORKOUT-PT (2.5mile bike, toe raises, calf raises, balance board, slides, walking)
HEALING-Golden Milk, Calcium supplement, ice


JAN 17-RECOVERY DAY 69-CLIMB AND FLY
Today was Brooks hand cycle meet up day. I knew going into it, I would do a shorter, easier distance because this week has just been mentally and physically tough. I took a new route and found some pretty good inclines, so it ended up being harder than I expected. But it was fun, because once you got over the challenge of going up, then you got to soar down. Its kinda like this recovery....it hurts going up, but then you feel accomplished once you are at the top, and then soon enough I will be able to free fly and run again! I ended up doing 18.7 miles almost the same pace as last weeks 21miles, so I was still happy.

I received a donation and lunch from a friend who visited today. And man, that carrot cake really made me smile! LOL. Okay, all of it made me smile! :) Later, another friend came and hooked me up with some more essential oils that should help with my swelling that wont go away...Tangerine and Lemongrass. The swelling ended up going way down. As far down as it was last week. Finally. Its still sore and I am wondering if from here on out I am going to always feel pain until I am back to normal?

WORKOUT-18.7 miles hand cycle
HEALING-lemongrass and tangerine essential oils on foot/leg, ice



JAN 18 RECOVERY DAY 70-I NEED TO GET AWAY
Money to have groceries delivered. Money to drive me to PT. Roundtrip. Money to give to the therapist when I arrive. Every.Single.Session. Money to give towards the surgeon whose receptionist keeps hounding me now. Money to give towards the Colorado hospital and ambulance whose bills come in every week. Money for essential oils and vitamins to help speed this process. I havent seen my dad who just lives on the other side of town, since Thanksgiving, because it will cost $100 for a driver. Money to pay my regular bills. Money to pay my soon to be increased rent. Everyone wants money. And yet I have to take off time to even go to therapy, so I dont even receive a full pay check to pay any of this.

And here I am just longing for an escape. I need to get away. This constant thinking of my foot and bills and how to make it all work and not to mention my body is so completely out of whack from the limping and crutches/cane. If only I was rich and had a masseuse, chiropractor, physical trainer.....sigh.

PT was with someone that doesnt even really know my injury. Im not even sure why I was scheduled with him. I need to feel like I am getting my moneys worth with these next sessions. The swelling was down most of the day and then when I arrived to PT, it swelled back up. They use these metal tools now to scrap up and down my ankle and calf. Its supposed to help break things up and make me looser. It feels like Im being scalped.

WORKOUT-PT-(bike 2miles, stretch/massage, wobble board, slides, incline squat)
HEALING-lemongrass and tangerine essential oils on foot/leg, ice


JAN 19-RECOVERY DAY 71-'I GOT MY TOES IN THE SAND, ICE COLD BEER IN MY HAND....'
Well, its been 2 weeks since i pulled out the sports wheelchair. I just didnt feel like doing it last week. Its hard. Its scary. Its not the same as what I will be using race day. So I just didnt wanna. But deep down I knew it was good cross training. So I pulled it out today and I am so happy I did! This time of year is when there are double, if not triple, the amount of runners out, mostly training for The Donna in a few weeks. There were so many 'Good Mornings' and a couple of people asking right away if I was doing the marathon. 'Absolutely!' I said! I even got an 'Your Awesome!' Yep. I felt awesome. And I felt more confident in the chair as well. It was a good workout in beautiful weather and I pushed myself an extra mile, making it the most so far of 5 miles.

It was also the Beaches Winter Run day that takes places right in front of my house on the sand. Every year, I am usually running 20+ miles this day, so its always cool to see them as Im already doing my training. I knew I wanted to go out there and cheer them on, so I bought a poster board, and made my way out. I wore the Lil Bertha brace and brought a crutch. Wearing shoes I felt good on the sand. We just went extra slow. Sitting down, I finally got to take my shoes off and put my toes in the sand! I wanted to put them in the water, but that would mean walking without the brace on sand. I didnt want to push it, especially since I had the pup and no one was with me. Next time.

I was expecting my foot to swell later, but it never really did. That is awesome progress! I spent the evening watching movies next to the fire with the neighbor. Well, mostly chatting with the movie on.  It was exactly what we both needed. I am so happy she has come into my life. The words of support she gives me is beyond what anyone has ever told me. Over 10 years of raising money for breast cancer, walking and running and traveling, and pushing my limits, and sharing this journey, its amazing how little people do tell me how I have impacted their lives. So when it is shared, I am just so taken aback. Hearing it though, keeps me going. This is why I do what i do. If Ive made a difference in just one persons life, then Ive done my job.

WORKOUT-5 miles sports chair
HEALING-Calcium supplement, b12, Vitamin D, lemongrass and tangerine essential oils on foot

JAN 20-RECOVERY DAY 72-LETS SEE
Last weekend i set out to walk a mile and did it just fine. But then I did it again the next day too, and then the next day I had a lot of errands so probably added up to another. Then i was out of commission the rest of the week, and was told i cant just start walking distances. So Ive been a little worried on when the next time I should walk.  But I woke up today and wanted to see. My ankle did great yesterday on the sand and I went to bed with no swelling and woke up to no swelling, so I just wanted to see. So me and the pup walked a mile. A 38 minute mile. Its a harsh reality of how far I have to come to get back down to a 9minute mile. But like the doctor said, I cant even think of running right now. The foot has got to bend more. My foot is constantly sore now. Tender to the touch and sore moving it. Muscle spasms are frequent, all up the leg. I think all of these are going to be my daily norm as I get this thing built back up. Suck it up Buttercup.

WORKOUT-1mile walk
HEALING-epsom salt bath, lemongrass and tangerine essential oils on foot



JAN 21-RECOVERY DAY 73-ANY DAY NOWIm literally waking up and thinking 'any day now foot you can move.' I mean I feel like it is getting better, extremely slowly, but its so minuscule, I just dont even know if its my imagination. Maybe its my body just getting used to it and compensating. I can not plateau. I feel the swelling recovers faster now and i wake up each morning with it looking pretty good. More veins are popping out now in my foot too which is awesome.

We finally got my car battery changed. So Jett, my black Corolla, is sitting there calling my name, ready to go. Doctor said I can drive as long as I can slam on the brake. Im a little nervous to try but so ready. I just dont want to be disappointed if it doesnt happen.


WORKOUT
PT-bike-2miles, heel raises, stretches, wobble board, slides, leg press (single leg)
Bands-80 each side-donkey kicks, kick backs, leg raises (behind), scissors, leg abduction-straight let, leg abduction-bent knees, bridge with leg abduction-70, clams-50
crunches-210, reverse crunch-70, bicycle-70, leg raises-50
HEALING-B12, coconut oil massage, lemongrass on foot, ice


JAN 22-RECOVERY DAY 74-WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THIS BEFORE
I didnt have to ice once today. I probably should have anyways before bed. But I wanted to see. I remembered KT tape. I always used it for running, more as a preventative measure, for shin splints, but also for plantar fasciitis that was creeping in. Why would I not use it to help with this recovery? I put it on and instantly felt better walking. My ankle did not swell the entire day. Ok, maybe a bit at night, but not like it usually does. So I decided I would go push on the car pedals during my work break while it was still light out. There was no pain at all doing it hard and fast. I think I may try to drive to PT tomorrow if it does not rain!

Once I figure I can drive, it is ON!....new gym membership with a pool....thai massage to get my body stretched back out, cryotherapy sessions, yoga.....omg Im so excited. I have no idea who i am going to pay for all this, but my body needs it and I can not let this injury mess up my body for the future! Alaska State 41 in 174 days!

WORKOUT
15lb dumbells-
bicep curls and over head press-50
deadlift and lat rows-40
flys and underhand rows-50
kettlebell swings and squats-45

HEALING
Golden Milk, Vitamin D, KT tape


JAN 23-RECOVERY DAY 75-I CAN DRIVE!
And today I drove to PT! :) Its only a mile away, but still, its huge! Even just getting into the car again was being on sensory overload. The foot did fine. Not a problem at all. Im sure a road trip may not be in my near future, but at least I no longer have to pay $20 just for transportation to PT every other day! Man, that was torture!

There are two therapists I am working with at JOI, one being a student. I dont mind too much, because the teacher one knows what shes doing, and I feel like I get two brains to try to help figure me out. lol. They really  have upgraded my routine now...getting more of a sweat session in to get my entire leg back into shape. And I am loving it. Was there was 2 hours today and still didnt want to leave.

WORKOUT-PT (2miles bike, single leg press, lunges on slide, lunges on step, calf raises, single leg balance on foam pad, wobble board, slides, bands, angle board stretches, angled squats)
HEALING-KT tape, ice, lemongrass oil on ankle



JAN 24-RECOVERY DAY 76-GETTING BACK TO NORMAL
Well, hand cycling was cancelled due to a passing overnight storm that was to ling into the morning hours. It was really disappointing because it was right on the cusps of our training hours. Also, because theres really only 1 more week of training til DONNA marathon day. I know everyone thinks I will do fine, and Im sure I will too, but it would have been nice to get a session in. So, I just took it as a recovery day....sorta....I took the full day off of work and did what I love to do.

I took the pup for a walk. We completed a mile WITHOUT the cane AND 4 minutes faster than Sunday! New mile personal record-34 minutes! LOL. I felt great and felt like I was walking more normal without the limp for mot of it. A few times I had to stop and more the foot around. It frequently feels like it just wants to pop. Like a good normal pop when you roll your ankles around.

We rested after that. I worked on a motivational goals board. I drove to the store (first time!). And the store was so close, I didnt want to get out of the car. So we drove around with the windows down, hair blowing, Mollys head hanging out the window, music blaring, and we found sunset. (first also since Ive been home) It was a good day.

WORKOUT-1mile walk
squats-45
deadlifts-15lb-45
15lb dumbbells-30 reps-biceps, overhead press, standing flys, lat rows
bench press-2 sets of 40
skull crushers-20 reps
lat pull with leg raise-20reps
Abs-30 reps-reverse crunch, single leg raises, crunches, bicycle
Kettlebell swings-20 reps
HEALING-kt tape, crystals, tangerine on scars, ice


JAN 25-RECOVERY DAY 77-NO MORE CANE
It really does just kinda happens. I woke up and was able to get out of bed almost instantly and without the crutches or cane. I really feel it loosening up now. One day this limp will just be gone.

PT has started giving me new exercises every time. I had a minor freak out on one of them when I lost my balance and my ankle wobbled, throwing me into a flashback of the fall. And then I freaked out because I was freaking out wondering if I am going to freak out on every single new thing I do that may have a risk of me twisting my ankle?! Every single thing I do from here on out is going to be a brand new experience. Its overwhelming.

I really like the one PT i go to the most, but her worry worries me. Today she tells me that the plate may be what is limiting the lack of bend in my foot because of the location of my break. It is becoming reality that this may be permanent. But I am not giving up.I keep correctly her when she says words like 'lifetime,' 'I dont know,' 'it may not.' I am feeling and seeing it do more than it has and getting better every day. I will take every minuscule amount of progress i get until I am running again.

WORKOUT-PT (2.5miles bike, slant board, squats on slant board, lunges on ground, lunges on step, lunges on bosu ball, stretches, bands, calf raises, leg press, wobble board)
HEALING-kt tape, coconut oil and wintergreen massage on leg, frankincense on foot. b12


JAN 26-RECOVERY DAY 78-NEW ADVENTURES
Busy Busy day full of excitement but man am I tired! The day started at the Donna HQ for a race day volunteer meet up. I have a group of fellow colleagues that man a water station every year on the course and because of that, my employer donates a grant to the Donna Foundation! I havent been to the HQ since before my fall. I usually am up there every week helping to prep for race day. It was good to be back. I also got to pick up my race helmet and shirt!

After that, I headed to Brooks YMCA who was hosting an open house full of group classes. Aqua aerobics and gentle yoga was on the list, so I had to go! I knew I would probably be the youngest one in the pool, but the ladies and teacher were nice. It was a lot harder moving my leg in the water than I thought. I modified everything, no jumping or bouncing yet. Just marching around trying to keep my balance was enough especially coordinating the arm weights. Im really looking forward to doing some more. I figured I would do a lot of just stretching in yoga, but I was surprised I was able to get into more positions than I thought which makes me super excited! I feel like these kind of workouts will help my foot bend more. I am not giving up hope!

Next was a fundraiser event that a friend asked me to be her guest. I almost said no. Actually I did originally say no, but glad that I was able to go after all! It was a pretty moving event. Called "Faces of Breast Cancer" hosted in an art gallery, they had photos of survivors of all ages, race, and gender and their hand written notes of their stories. If that wasnt moving enough, the models then trickled in and you saw their reaction to their photos, as it had been some time. I got to meet a lot of new people, and even got to see Amanda from the race which I havent seen since the fall. I had so much to tell her about the hand cycle and training, and being broken, and putting myself back together, and ....and ....well everything! There were lots of hugs and laughter and someone even recognized me as Pink Feet! It was a night that I really needed. Even if I did still have to wear my two sizes too big/size 11 Crocs and use the knee scooter some!


WORKOUT-aqua aerobics, yoga
HEALING-cocoa butter, kt tape



JAN 27-RECOVERY DAY 79-LAZY RAINY DAY WITH ANTSY LEG
From morning to bed, it rained all day long. Which I was disappointed at first because my calendar had me scheduled to do the sports wheelchair. But after my coffee, I soon realized I may have had a little too much fun yesterday. So me and the pup napped and watched movies all day. My leg spasmed the entire day. My Achilles was also tender and i could feel a tendon in there moving around with a sharp pain when I walked, which freaked me out, because all i can think is what if it ruptures.

Its exactly 2 weeks til Donna Marathon. Everything is going to fly by these next days!

WORKOUT-rest
HEALING-wintergreen and coconut oil massage on foot/leg, calcium, tangerine on scars


JAN 28-RECOVERY DAY 80-REACHING NEW LIMITS
PT is so fun to me. We are doing new exercises a lot now. Its been really bothering me not knowing the measurements of my range of motion, so I convinced her to measure today and tell me in comparison to before. She warned me the flexibility of the foot coming backwards is still not good but there was improvement. She said the side to side and bending the foot forward is getting much better. I will take it. Any little improvement I will take.

It wasnt planned, but after work, I decided I wanted to try to walk a mile and see if I could do it faster. And surprisingly, I took a whole 8 minutes off the last time! and I went further.....a total of 1.2 miles now!

WORKOUT-1.2 mile walk, PT (2mile bike, calf raises, sliding lunges, bosu ball lunges, stair lunges, single leg squats, wobble board, single leg press, calf raises on leg press, single leg balance throwing a ball)
HEALING-Calcium, ice, kt tape



JAN 29-RECOVERY DAY 81-TRYING EVERYTHING
Today I went to a holistic wellness center and tried cryotherapy on the ankle and a salt room. Both are good for inflammation and healing. The cryotherapy is a machine that blows freezing air. This was a targeted session so they only did my ankle. Some places do a full body and you go into a chamber. It was 7 minutes long and it felt fine until the last 2 minutes it got super cold. Im not sure what it did. But i do know that I walked 1.2 miles before I went (half of it on sand), i had already walked 1.2 miles the night before, and then after my session I had multiple errands to run and wasnt actually home until 7p. So with a full day like that, my ankle never swelled, so it had to have done something. The specialist gave me a free session to come back and try the infrared sauna which is supposed to help with the healing as well, so I will try that with a thai massage next week. The salt room was interesting. Its basically a relaxation room where you kick back in a dimly lit room with soft music and they blow salt air particles in which you breath in. It was a good relaxation but I couldnt fall asleep like I wanted because the particles almost made my throat itch and it was a little too cool for me, even with the blanket. The temperature stays cool to enhance the power of the salt. Humidity lowers it. All in all it was a unique experience Id do again.

WORKOUT-1.2 mile walk
HEALING-cryotherapy, salt room, frankincense on ankle, kt tape


JAN 30-RECOVERY DAY 82-GETTING BACK TO NORMAL
I slept through my alarm and woke up in a panic almost late for PT. As I was going out the door, I realized, I just jumped out of bed and started walking!!!! ......How long ago was it, that I just wished for the day to come that I sleep a solid night and I just wake up and get right out of bed without having to adjust and prep my muscles and foot to walk!?! I did it!! And there was no pain!

PT was a little exhausting, probably because I hadnt had my coffee first. My hip now hurts when I do lunges. I was told this pain would start because when I walk, my hip is being thrown out of range since I can not bend my foot fully.

So after work I decided I wanted to walk again. Not knowing how far I would go, just wanted to see how I would feel, with it being 3 days in a row. But also wanted to practice going slow and walking 'normal.' I feel when I go slow, I am not limping or throwing my hip out, but how can that be if my foot is not bending? I dont know. Maybe one day I will wake up and it will just happen. Just like today.

It was a beautiful sunset evening with the pup at the ocean park. We ended up making it 1.5 miles! The furthest yet! I had to stop briefly a few times as my entire leg was just tired. As it should be, as today was also physical therapy day. I came home, iced, and kinda felt like I could have gone more. But I know that is my mind trying to rush me, especially since DONNA5k is in 10 days. I know Im supposed to only do 10% increase every week, but I feel it in me that I can do more. I have no idea what will happen race day, but I know that pushing myself too far is not worth it. But I also know I wanna complete it.


WORKOUT-PT (single leg press, calf raises, squats, single leg wobble board, lunges, stair lunges, bosu ball lunges, calf raises on leg press, heel drops on leg press, band stretches, single leg squats on stair) 1.5 mile walk
HEALING-kt tape, ice



JANUARY 31-RECOVERY DAY 83-I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS IT
Last training day on the hand cycle with Brooks Adaptive Sports and Recreation! I cant believe it is here already! I am so blessed that is free program landed in my lap at the right time! I really want to help spread the word to more athletes that are injured. There is a way to keep you active while you recover!!

I decided I would drive myself to the meetup. It was the furthest I have driven yet, about 40 minutes. It was a nice time to reflect on the progress I have made. The first day the bus had to pick me up, they had to put me in the chair lift to get on!! Then when I got down to the cane, the very first steps I tried was on that bus, because I knew the right people were there to help and support me! And now I am driving again!!

It was ironic i forgot my Garmin. The ride ended up being the most difficult one yet. The gears were messed up and ended up being in a slack state and wouldnt get out of it, so I was cranking twice as much and going half the distance! My shoulders were Killing me!! It made me panic because last weeks training was cancelled, so maybe I had already gotten out of shape?! But I was told when I returned that its because i was doing the motion double time. Every week has been a different type of training....first week was turns, second week was slow and steady, third week was distance and speed, fourth week was hills, fifth week was double time crank! LOL. Five. FIVE. There have only been 5 trainings to get me prepped for Donna Marathon next week!! I really feel out of my league and have no idea what to expect come marathon day! But I am excited!

I turned in the sports wheelchair as well. As rain is in the forecast, and honestly I just dont like that thing! And really, theres no improving with just a weeks time. It was great reminiscing with this chair too! It really did make me not only physically but mentally stronger. Looking back being so scared just sitting in it strapped in. Not having any trust in the chair or myself. And then 4 trainings later, I am flying down the street with my game face on! Four. FOUR. I have only done 4 cross trainings on that sports chair!! Are my arms really ready for 26.2 miles next week??! Yes, i also lifted weights weekly, but was it enough? I know even if i was running, these similar thoughts would be running through my mind.....welcome to 'taper weeks!' lol. The time leading up to the race that you doubt everything, you constantly check the weather, and cant decide what your best outfit will be! LOL.

WORKOUT-18 miles on hand cycle
HEALING-kt tape

FEB 1 RECOVERY DAY 84-THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
Ugh another down day. I was doing so well. When you feel like no one cares, it really hits hard. Probably the most difficult thing in life is to feel alone. Our world has so many ways to connect with each other, and then we just dont. Texts are read but left unresponded. Responding two days later doesnt make it better or even okay. It may, just may be too late.

Begging for donations is one thing. Ive been doing it for 15 years. I wont give up until the goal is reached. Does it hurt when I dont reach the goal? Sure. Will I do it again? Absolutely. I try not to take it personal when a friend has never ever donated. I get that not everyone will agree with my charities, and they have their own they support. But maybe, just maybe we should support each other regardless.

Begging for 'friends' to spend time with you is another. Theres so much that goes on Donna Marathon weekend, and there are so little friends that have stepped up to be by my side during any it. I feel so completely out of my league not being able to run, trying to walk the 5k when we all know in reality I probably wont make it the 3 miles. Then trying to hand cycle 26.2 miles, six miles further than Ive ever done. Sure I will probably finish that one, but does anyone care? Will anyone even be there to witness it? To celebrate? My normal support is not in town. My normal runners are not running. I am attempting probably something harder than running my 10th marathon. I will have to be cycling beside runners. Every day that I am out, limping down the street, or pushing myself in the wheel chair, I stop and I watch as a runner passes by. My mind is actually blank. I just watch. Theres no jealousy, theres no hate. I honestly dont know what I feel. And that is the part that scares me, because I probably havent let this hit me yet. Ive been too busy focusing on physical therapy and healing, that I havent taken time to reflect and acknowledge how i truly feel. I feel that come race day its going to be an overwhelming experience to witness everyone and no one to witness me.

WORKOUT-PT (2mile bike, single calf and toe raises on leg press, sliding lunges, stair lunges, bosu ball lunges, standing calf raises, slant board stretch, slant board squat, single leg balance throwing a ball, single leg balance on wobble board, lower heel on bar, single leg press with bosu)
HEALING-Calcium, kt tape


FEB 2 RECOVERY DAY 85-THIS IS MY BODY AND I KNOW IT
Everyone keeps asking me if i am doing too much, and I feel like I am not doing enough. 15 years of distance walking and running, I am quite good at listening to my body. I also am quite good at pushing my body to its limits. Today I wanted to see if I could walk 2 miles. Me and the pup went out and the first mile ended up being new personal record of 25 minutes! I felt like I was going so fast! lol. The next mile we made sure to take our time slowly. But that is okay, because I did it, and without pain. The only thing that happened was i got tired....as in a tired foot, a tired leg. We rested most of the rest of the day, until I decided to go run errands. I ended up having to take breaks in the dressing rooms. LOL. Gotta do what you gotta do. But i did end up finding my race weekend shirt! :)  All in all, I know i can walk well over 3 miles in a day.....just, can i walk the 3 miles nonstop for the 5k in one week?????

WORKOUT-walk 2miles
HEALING-kt tape, ice, frankincense, lemongrass, tangerine oils, calcium supplement


FEB 3-RECOVERY DAY 86-CALLING ALL ENERGIES
Tomorrow starts DONNA Marathon week, my 3 month anniversary of the fall, and how ironic, the day they are airing my story on 'Why I Run Donna' on the local news! Ive been so excited for Monday all weekend! My friend invited me to a John Edward medium reading show which was very interesting. Two of the four of us had energies that came through (my friends cat even!). I really was hoping for someone for me, to encourage me, motivate me, anything for race weekend. But that is okay. Even listening to John and everyone's stories really made me focus and reflect on loved ones that I know have been with me since day one of this journey. It was a long drive to the show and my foot was a little sore from yesterdays 2 miles. Other than that, it was rest.

WORKOUT-rest
HEALING-coconut oil and wintergreen massage on foot/leg, kt tape


FEB 4-RECOVERY DAY 87-MA IM FAMOUS!Today my news interview aired....and how appropriate as it is exactly 3 months since I broke my ankle and its the first day of DONNA Marathon week! :) The segment was pretty good. Actually it was really good compared to previous ones Ive done, but she completely missed my message of 'Find a Way.' The marathon is such a symbol of life. You push through the most difficult parts of training and race day, and eventually it gets easier again, and before you know it you are celebrating at the finish! Theres no way I couldnt 'run' Donna! Its made me who I am.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10157060932845127&id=105713395126

Afterwards, I signed up with a new gym that has a pool and aqua aerobics classes. I did a yoga class right after signing up and I got into most of the poses! I was so impressed. No pain. Its just a matter of my leg being strong enough to hold the balance or my ankle allowing it to bend enough. I really am hoping that this class will help it bend more.

WORKOUT-PT (3 miles bike, incline stretches and squats, regular squats, sliding lunges, calf raises standing, weighted calf raises sitting, heel drops on bar, one leg balance while throwing ball, single leg press on a bosu ball)  Yoga
HEALING-kt tape


FEB 5-RECOVERY DAY 88-RELAX
Today I took a me day, tried an infrared sauna which is supposed to promote healing, and then a thai influenced lower body massage to help get my hips and legs balanced again. Its amazing the difference that has taken place between my two sides. It was a wonderful morning, so I decided to continue it with an afternoon on the beach. It was a nice early Spring day. I even made it down to the water for the first time! Salt water is good for healing, right? I then took a mile walk with the pup and watched the sunset. This is the first time we got to do that again too. It was a great day. Except one thing. The worry is creeping in that my foot will not bend. Everything was going to fast with recovery, but now we are really just waiting on one thing until we can move on....for my ankle to bend. It just doesnt want to bend back. If i cant walk normal, I cant run. I dont want to be disabled. I dont want my running to be over. Im not ready to quit, but the 'what ifs' keep popping up. I wake up every morning hoping that it will suddenly be able to bend. And every day I am disappointed its still the same. I know that I have to turn this worry into determination. I almost am ready for Donna Marathon weekend to be over, so I can get serious on some workouts. Cause as of right now, the rest of the week has got to be rest, so that I can attempt to walk 3 miles for the first time on Saturday and then hand cycle 26 miles Sunday. Its a whole other level of challenges that lie in front of me.

WORKOUT-1 mile walk
HEALING-infrared sauna, massage, kt tape, ice


FEB 6-RECOVERY DAY 89-NORMAL???!
Graston Technique...it hurts so bad. Id rather get a tattoo. But I guess it is working. Graston is a 'massage' the physical therapist does with a metal scraper. They rub on your scar tissue, tendons, muscles VERY hard and then when you cry out, they rub harder. I guess the point is to break up the tightness. People bruise crazy. Im lucky I havent. But a couple of times it has been crazy sore after. Most of the time its just doing the process that hurts. But she did it last Friday and I walked the 2miles the next day. I obviously told her this too willingly because now she has been doing it every meeting. Usually its done at the end of the session and I go home to work. This time she had me stay and walk it out. She watched me and said my foot was bending normal. hmmmm....why am i not excited?? Because it still feels like the solid block its been! Theres still work to be done on not walking on the outside of the foot, using more of my toes to push off, SLOWING DOWN, and following through the complete step. But she said it was a huge progress. I dont know. I go to the doctor on Monday and I dont want it to be like, okay, you can walk, no more PT! Im not leaving until I can run! And i dont know how that is going to happen, because I cant afford this PT! At $100 a session, 3x a week, its getting up there. But thats also good because then I will meet my deductible. But I also believe insurance only does so many PT sessions a year. ? Insurance is ridiculous.

I went to the pool after work and did some walking. Its really hard to walk in a pool, especially when you are sharing a lane with swimmers. I held on to the walk and did about 20 minutes worth. The water is supposed to help the foot, but I dont know, its awfully sore. And I go back to PT tomorrw because the Donna Marathon weekend starts Friday. I just hope I am not sure on Saturday.

WORKOUT-PT (3 mile bike, incline stretch and squat, single leg wobble board, single leg heel lowers, balance beam walking, bosu ball lunges, single leg squat on step, sliding lunges, weighted calf raises, weighted single leg squat on bosu ball, single leg stand on foam throwing a ball)
Pool walk-20minutes
HEALING-10min sauna, kt tape, ice, tangerine essential oil, coconut oil and wintergreen
Vitamin D, B12

FEB 7 RECOVERY DAY 90-REST
Since tomorrow starts DONNA festivities, i had to do back to back PT sessions. From there i worked a little and then rested in the hammock with the pup. The plan is to rest the foot on the knee scooter all day Friday so i can walk the 5k Sat. Fingers crossed.

WORKOUT-PT (2mile bike, 2min stairstepper, weighted heel lower, weighted single leg press on wobble board, balance wobble board, single leg stand on foam throwing ball, standing calf raises, seated weighted calf raises, bosu ball front lunges, bosu ball side lunges, slant board stretches and squats)
HEALING-kt tape, ice, coconut oil and wintergreen, frankincense, tangerine, lemongrass oils


CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT DONNA MARATHON WEEKEND


FEB 11-RECOVERY DAY 94-ALL CLEAR
Well, DONNA Marathon wrapped up a huge success and I am beat! Today is PT and doctor day and then rest and more rest! Click above to see my DONNA weekend review.

The doctor did an xray of my toe just to clear out any concern of it being broken. Good news is, its not broken! Great news is, I can do anything now, just listen to my body. My PT lady wanted me to ask his thoughts on using the Alter G Antigravity running machine and he said go for it. So, I went downstairs and put my name down on the soonest appointment-next Wed. That should give time for my bruise on my toe to heal and hopefully my foot to bend more so I can transition to running!

This blog has really helped me mentally through this entire journey. Thank you for reading and I hope that I helped someone along the way. From here on out, I will be focusing on getting me back to being a strong runner. Physical therapy still resumes for another 4 weeks until I plateau. I am hoping I can find a personal trainer/running coach as well in my budget to guide me along the way. Follow me on Facebook to keep up with my progress!




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https://www.gofundme.com/help-pinkfeet-get-back-on-her-feet

Crowdrise-Donations to The DONNA, my overall goal is to reach $100,000 for breast cancer.
https://www.crowdrise.com/o/en/campaign/pink-feet


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